Pakistan’s First Parenting Magazine

Teaching Your Teenagers

Transmitting positive messages can help your teenager become a mature adult

By: Sonia Hurren

Parenting a teenager can be difficult and can sometimes leave you feeling confused. The transition to becoming an adult can be a confusing time for everyone; teenagers go through many changes, both physical and emotional. They look to the people that are important to them for guidance and expect these people to show them how to become an adult. Even though they may not always admit it, teenagers always look towards their parents for guidance; hence it is important that you be careful while portraying yourself because your teenagers will most likely be following in your footsteps.

Here are 5 ways to help you give the best guidance you can…  

  1. Be aware of what you are communicating to others; what values and opinions are you sharing?
  2. Communication is 80% body language, what you are feeling will be communicated more by your body language than your words.
  3. Teenagers will respond badly to negativity because it affects their confidence. Do not demand or command, show them how to respect by giving respect. It’s a very powerful tool.
  4. If your teenager is being argumentative, give them space for you both to become calm. Arguments and stress leads to more unhappiness. Being calm means you’ll reach a better and happier understanding between each other.
  5. If you can feel an argument starting, explain calmly why you or they need to do something as it widens their awareness, skills, qualities, and emotions, and helps to mitigate the environment.


Teenagers will learn how to be in the world through what they see, feel and experience. Giving them the tools to be able to succeed past their wildest dreams is something very special. Being a parent also means being open to growing as an individual too. If you are open to learning new skills and developing old ones, imagine how much more you could pass onto your teenager? These skills are endless and to be able to empower your teenager further will mean great things for all of you. It sometimes helps to write a list of all the things you would like to teach and all the things you would like to learn. This sense of aspiration and ambition from you will instill the same in them.

Helping them to reach for the stars takes commitment and confidence and that can sometimes be difficult when you teenager is being difficult. Knowing their dreams is as important as knowing your own and what you want for them, as sometimes they won’t always match! Communicating and exploring what it is and how you will move forward is all about listening, and communicating a positive message. This means your teenager will respect and trust you even more. Showing them to really listen is an amazing tool. It gives great guidance and that message will then get passed onto whoever is fortunate enough to have contacted them and that’s something you can both be proud of.

Teaching positive messages, giving guidance and ways of communicating will mean they teach their future and their family to come too. Using the 5 tools I shared with you will help make your relationship with your teenager even more successful!

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